Man

As a member of the male species, I enjoy a great many advantages. I have a great many more by dint of being me, but let's stick with the generalizations for today. As a guy, I make more money, have less grief (perhaps due in part to the idea that - unlike women - the world is my urinal, a topic which may be due a posting of its own someday), and I keep getting better and better. But for all that, I'm not sure that I'll ever be a man. I'm not sure such a thing exists as a "man," and - based on the state of the world today - aspiring to be called a "man" is aspiration to a veritable cesspit.

Of all the people that I've met in my life, there have only been boys of various ages and levels of capability. Older boys tend to play the games of life better, and ultimately even realize that it is just a game. In the past, I've jokingly said that the reason that frat boys are called "frat boys" is that there is no longer any such thing as a "fraternity man," but now, having thought about the matter, I wonder if there ever was such a thing. Where/Are the tacitly higher echelons simply better able to hide and/or escape allegations of drug use and date rape, a luxury that has been largely lost in the face of the modern media? Neither George W. nor any of his past adversaries warrants the moniker of "man;" if not for family money and mojo, either or all of George, John Kerry, and Al Gore would have spent their lives pumping gas in the mid-west, instead of vying to be elected King. The mind boggles as to the antics that Billie and Georgie undoubtedly got into behind the Ivy League palisades, but I don't doubt for a second that a great many incidents were hushed up that and a not a few co-eds sold silence dearly. They don't qualify as men now, in their 40s and 50s. Can you imagine Bill Clinton as a 20-year old upperclassman, born to money, power, and privilege, suddenly confronted with a new incoming class of 17 and 18 year old freshman girls? I'm sure I would have behaved no better in his position, but I'm also sure that he behaved no better than I would have.

And these are the "men" who were appointed to guide the free world. George W. ... ... ... Who I really need say no more about. And Bill, who didn't inhale, but who undoubtedly was rolling the chambermaids in the palace. Now, shall we perhaps try to get better results from the wife who was looking the other way while all that was going on? I'm sure that will work out much better. (Dear God. I know you're there. Please bring sense to all the women of the world who will vote for Hillary purely because she's a woman. Let them instead ask themselves 1) what is the difference between Hillary Clinton and the Bitch Goddess from their high-school senior class, who treated everyone on earth like dog shit except for when she needed their vote to be prom queen, and 2) would they want to be alone in a room for even five minutes with the man Hillary promised to love, honor, and cherish. Amen.)

Aside from the politicians, there are the Icons. Martin Sheen (who failed the University of Dayton entrance exam, but who plays the president on TV) is listened to as he challenges the policies set by Condoleeza Rice (Masters from Notre Dame, professor and Provost at Stanford, speaks five languages). What does this tell you about us? If society respects Ramón Gerardo Antonio Estévez (google it) as a "man" worth listening to, is being such a man even worth aspiring to? The world's last decent pop culture icon got five bullets in the chest (and I'll never forgive Chapman for missing Yoko; she was right there! Do us a favor, man!), and the only thing that set him apart was that he despised the transparency and lack of substance in pop culture every bit as much as he despised the transparency and lack of substance in political culture. A hypocrite, yes, but a hypocrite who hated everyone equally.

Per Marcus Aurelius, people are who they are: of each individual thing, ask what is its nature. What part is it of what whole? High society may promote excellent manners, but don't kid yourself about any modern royalty. The high society and wealthy people I know tend to be heavy users of prescription medication (which is occasionally even performed with the carte blanche of an acutal physician), as well as unfaithful husbands and poor or absentee fathers. Good guys, many of them. But not men. Per Marcus, they're the broken and misguided wheels of a broken and misguided social and political machine. What matter that they're made of gold? The pop culture icons are still worse; they lack even the manners and tact that give the well-born and well-raised the ability to at least pretend that everything is fine and as it should be.

Homo sapiens is doing swimmingly, but I honestly believe that "Man" may be extinct, assuming he ever existed. Was "man" given his last honest homage in Hamlet, Act I, Scene II, circa 1602? I think he may have been. And that even in that case, Junior's opinion of Senior was certainly not without bias.